It shocking to open up your news feed and see that another famous person has committed suicide. Suicide and mental health has come to the forefront in recent years due to several prominent celebrities who have ended their internal pain with a final decision.
I want to take a few minutes and share a few things with you from my perspective. So many don’t or can’t comprehend what a person is thinking when they make this decision.
Most of the time a suicidal person is not aware or may be forgetting, that there are other means that might be available to help solve the problems and to cope with the stressors. Those means are at times blocked out from the thought process.
A person who is suicidal is sometimes confusing thoughts that feel true for thoughts that are true. There is a difference! It is difficult to truly see through the feelings during a significant period of depression. Just because you may feel hopeless doesn’t mean you truly are. A variety of thinking errors, called cognitive biases, conspire to make situations seem more dire than they really are.
A suicidal person sometimes assumes that their current feelings and situation will never change for the better. Even though this is not likely and suicidal feelings and thoughts do tend to decrease over time. These feelings of despair are a temporary vision of no hope. No light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve heard so many say “they were selfish”. I’m here to tell you that a suicidal person is not thinking about the hurt and harm and how suicide will affect their entire family and friends.
There may be a mental health issue that is contributing to the suicidal thoughts. Or even, suicidal thoughts in response to having to cope with a chronic physical issue. Going through a depression state, a suicidal thought may be common. In depression, things that used to feel good will lose their motivating capability. It is common to feel worthless and helpless and to start thinking in negative and extreme ways when you are depressed. For example, it's common for depressed people to start taking responsibility for all the negative things that have ever happened to them, while simultaneously discounting their role in helping to create the good things that have happened. You may rewrite history so it seems that things have always been terrible/horrible/awful when this isn't really entirely the case. In general, the brain starts doing a sort of intentional narrowing and filtering such that everything is seen through the shit-colored glasses of depression. Your perspective and your vision narrows until everything looks depressing and there is no apparent way out. Once this negative thinking style sets in your judgment becomes compromised and it is rather easy to look to suicide as the "only way out" and as an appropriate and well-deserved fate. In depression, even though these sorts of thoughts occur frequently, they are NOT TRUE! Fortunately, cognitive behavioral therapy for depression and various anti-depressant medications can help clear up these negative thought biases.
You may also have forgotten to thoroughly think through the ramifications of committing suicide. I know I did. I have an impulsive personality, and like to "live life on the edge." There are other ways to achieve the "high" or "alive" feeling you desire that don't involve harming yourself.
I have attempted suicide twice in my life and I am still am battling those thoughts at times. With therapy, I am working through the negativity and attempting to replace them with positive mindfulness. I don’t want to be one of the twenty-two veterans a day that commit suicide. I am grateful I have close friends who understand the hurt and pain I am feeling. They understand the darkness I live in at times. It’s unfortunate that those I held closest in my heart did not understand and only added to the negative feelings over time.
If you are thinking about making a permanent decision based on temporary feelings and you are a veteran, please call the veteran crisis line. There is someone who will talk to you and truly cares.
Suicide creeps up on you in the dark. Stay frosty.
