You can’t go home again
March 6. 2015
Some things will never change.
Some things will always be the same.
Lean down your ear upon the earth and listen.
- Thomas Wolfe, “You can’t go home again” (1940)
Can we go back and feel the same things we have in our past? So many times we attempt to re-live our youthfulness through different things. Whether some call it a mid-life crisis, going retro, old school or whatever; we look at things in our lives through different lenses. And they aren’t rose colored.
Miami Florida. 1983. I was a 17 year old kid with a motorcycle living as large as anyone can do. I had a job, a couple of girls to date and some good friends to drink beer with. Fast forward thirty two years and not much has changed. In my heart I am still a 17 year old kid with a motorcycle, have a great job, a couple of girls to date (a wife and two daughters) and some good friends to drink beer with. As I drove around some of the same back roads in South Dade that I ran years ago, so much has changed and so much is still the same. I still get the same feelings in my soul. I love South Florida. I always have and I always will. But this is not home any more. It is, but it’s not. Come along on my philosophical rant for a few moments…
There are certain things we, as humans, use to remember. Smells, tastes, sounds, etc. Smells always bring me back to a certain place and time. Fresh baked bread reminds me of my grandmother’s house for some reason. Jasmine is the smell that brings me back to my youth. My parents had night blooming Jasmine outside my bedroom window. The smell of the rain in Miami is different than in Phoenix. That “Miami smell” reminds me of riding my motorcycle down US1 in the rain to go visit this cute blonde who was a waitress at a diner. I just realized I never told her that. When I get back to Phoenix, I guess I will have to. That cute blonde is my now my wife.
All of those things are triggers to memories of my youth. As I attempt to be a person who looks for the best in people and the positives in a situation, the negative memories don’t always stay. That is a good thing I believe, because the way we remember things are not always the way it really was. The intensity and the passion of a situation may not have happened so intensely.
The older we get, the more set in our ways we become. Whether it is due to circumstances or training, it is who we are. You see, the experiences we have in our lives shape who’ve we become. Both the good and the bad.
I believe that we should remember both the good and the bad in our past but focus on the good. Those positive things that have shaped our lives. Those people who believed in us when we didn’t believe in ourselves. Those who were encouragers when we needed it. Not everyone stays in your life forever. Some are only here for a short season. You have to make the most out every moment in life.
I am writing this from my mother’s home as this might be my last visit with her. She has been fighting stage 4 breast cancer for 5 years and the cancer is winning. I can ride around the streets of Miami and remember the good times growing up. How they have shaped who I am. My mom has always been a fighter and she continues to do so. No matter where I lay my head to sleep, that will be home for me. But I will always have a little bit of mom’s house in my home because I keep it in my heart.
You may not be able to go home again, but allow those who have been a part of your life to reside in your heart. That’s how you can enjoy home life anywhere you are.
“Make your mistakes, take your chances, look silly, but keep on going. Don’t freeze up.” – Thomas Wolfe
Enjoy the ride!
Mike
