Hey, folks. Guess what day it is? Yup. It’s THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY!!! You know that day when you get to throat punch someone who pisses you off.
Seriously! How many of you really thought I was serious about throat punching someone? That’s what I thought. Even those who know me to be a grumpy a$$hole at times know it’s just blowing steam.
In the past week, we have seen a few passionate debates on the floor of our state legislature. The school voucher debate and vote was a close vote. From what rumor has it, one female senator was sort of celebrating the final vote and it made another senator upset. Upset enough that he posted on Facebook that the celebrating made him want to “punch her in the throat”.
And then it happened!!! The media, the legislators, and several others just lost their freakin mind. I saw several insinuating that “it is never appropriate to threaten a colleague” whether it is male or female to others calling for his resignation. Now I am not condoning any means of violence at all. But seriously folks. I passed this in front of my wife and she took it as he was just venting. Not ACTUALLY saying he was going to commit an assault on the senator.
Let me explain a little about a throat punch.
“Throat punch
A swift fist thwarted into the throat of a speaking, or not speaking, ass hat. Appropriately delivered immediately after a douchey sentence is in progress or at full completion.” (Urban Dictionary)
The Atlantic writer, Conor Friedersdorf, explains it this way:
“My introduction to the throat punch happened in 2009.
A story was related to me about a coffee shop owner who, after feuding with a customer, posted a sign with the customer's photo warning that if he ever returned to the shop he would be met with a throat punch. The person who told me about this still cracks up when she thinks of it. "Watch out," I told her years after I first heard the story, "or you might get throat punched." She couldn't stop laughing.
The anecdote made me laugh when I first heard it too. It's difficult to explain just why. It wouldn't be funny to see a literal punch to a throat delivered in anger. Quite the contrary. The humor was partly rooted in the unexpected (forgive me) punch line, the atypically ordered words, and of course the apparent hyperbole. How mad are you? So mad I could throat punch him!”
Kristen Daukas wrote this 5 years ago:
“What’s Throat Punch Thursday? It’s a day that fellow blogger, Deborah Cruz dedicates to taking a topic or person or stupid action (or all of them combined) and unleashes on them a good, old- fashioned ass whipping.”
OK, I’ll admit to using the term before. In fact, about 10 years ago I told a douchey manager I had that if he didn’t leave me alone I was going to “stab him the neck with a highlighter so many times that he’d pee yellow.” Would I really have done it? Who knows? But at that moment I used very strong words to express not only my anger about the situation but also my level of frustration. My youngest daughter was sent to the principal's office a few years ago when she told the boys who kept farting in her direction that if they didn’t stop she would stab them in the neck with a spork. This was after telling them to stop multiple times and telling the duty aide.
Sometimes strong words are needed and sometimes diplomacy is needed.
In the words of country singer Toby Keith, “We’ll put a boot in your ass! It’s the American way!”
Was the frustration level for the senator what led to him stating what he did? I don’t know. Was he wrong? In his use of wording? Probably. Do I believe he would physically assault a colleague? No. But he didn’t say he would throat punch me either. If he did, I’d slap him with my white glove and challenge him to a duel at dawn.
Let’s get back to business folks and try to make Arizona a better place for ALL.
Be good to one another.
Mike
